Another season and it’s the same old story for Arsenal fans. A frustrating summer in the transfer market has again reminded us of the similarities between Arsene Wenger and your tight mate down the pub. You know, the one that will watch everyone else buy the drinks without dipping into his own pocket, and when he scoffs at the price of a drink he opts for a tap water instead. That’s all very well Arsene but a pint of tap water is about as much use to a drinking man as a cheap striker is to a title chasing club – not much (Wait, he’s Japanese? SHIRT SALES!). With so many teams vying for contention, this could be the year the Gunners find themselves out of the top 4. Of course we could yet be surprised – if Arsene bags a top striker (which he won’t), and Jack Wilshere can stay fit (which he won’t), then they might just nick it. Either way, expect the familiar choruses of Wenger In, Wenger out. And if they go and win it he might just shake it all about. Hopefully still with his long coat on though.
Key man: Mesut Ozil
Best signing: For shirt sales alone – Takuma Asano
By Darren Wells