Football

Crystal Palace.

 
The big question on everyone’s lips is not how Crystal Palace will get on this season, but what will Alan Pardew do next to make himself look like an even bigger plonker. Despite leading Palace to the FA Cup final in May – and almost to victory – the day is remembered somewhat for Pardew’s strange attempt at the Macarena/Robot/Seduction. It was enough to remind you of someone’s creepy Uncle Jim at a family wedding in a lairy shirt and wandering hands. This is the same Pardew of course who head butted Hull’s David Meyler not so long ago whilst manager of Newcastle and it’s left to ponder what stunt the attention seeking Pardew will pull next. That being said, Alan has achieved relative success as a manager and will continue to do so at Palace this season. Andros Townsend is an astute signing and if a move for Christian Benteke can be sealed before deadline day it would be a major coup for the South London club. They won’t be top half and they won’t be in danger of the drop. They’ll just shuffle along quietly whilst Alan the jester makes a song and dance and embarrasses himself once again, not that he’d care.

Key man: Yohann Cabaye

Best signing: Andros Townsend

Verdict: 12th

By Darren Wells

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