Artur Boruc (Bournemouth) – Made some key saves to keep a clean sheet. Not sure how much he knew about them but he saved them nonetheless.

Joel Matip – A composed Liverpool defender who’s good on the ball, well I never.

Kyle Walker (Spurs) – Who are you and what have you done with the real Kyle Walker? Impressive again. He’ll be at Barcelona before we know it.

Nicolas Otamendi (Man City) – Cultured performance from the Argentine.

Etienne Capoue (Watford) – Scored what turned out to be the winner, nabbed an assist and was integral to the Hornets turnaround at West Ham.

Santi Cazorla (Arsenal) – Showed big cajones to step up for the last minute penalty. Nifty little player.

Kevin De Bruyne (Man City) STAR MAN -The stand out performer in the weekends biggest game. Looks like a toddler, perhaps that’s why he’s a good dribbler *ba-dum-tsh*.

Sadio Mane (Liverpool) – Justifying his transfer fee with every game. Made Schmeichel look a bit silly with his blistering pace.

David Silva (Man City) – Only when he’s retired will we probably appreciate just how good he is.

Roberto Firminho (Liverpool) – 2 goals in an outstanding performance almost made us forget that he has the worst haircut in the premiership.

Romelu Lukaku (Everton) – Notched the first hat-trick of the premier league season to hit back at his critics.

Goal of the week:
Callum Wilson (Bournemouth) – A great week for goals in the premiership. Dimitri Payets assist for Michail Antonio was utter filth, yet sadly for him this is goal of the week and not assist of the week. For that reason it goes to Callum Wilson who’s naughty back heel gave him his first goal back after a lengthy injury layoff. Hats off to you sir.

Good week for:
Marcus Rashford (Man United) – A hat-trick for the under 21’s and an energetic performance as a substitute in the derby has left Mourinho and Big Sam with selection headaches.

Bad week for:
Tony Pulis (West Brom) – When your own fans are singing “Tony Pulis, your football is shit”, you know things aren’t looking good. Writings on the wall for Tone after a defeat to Bournemouth leaves him bookies favourite to be the first manager to go.

By Darren Wells


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